Question: Why Are My Good Qualities Gone?
I made advancement in Krishna consciousness, and become familiar with the process, my good qualities went away. Though I can taste much happiness in chanting, (I like to be with Krishna during chanting, and I may like to chant for hours, feeling very happy and inspired.) yet some of my good qualities have gone away. I want to be recognized by other devotees. I am always proud, even though I can feel some upsurge of humility during chanting. But previously I was very sincere. At that time I did not want any recognition. Why do such subtle desires come out? Today I can see the devotees' good qualities in the recordings of their chanting, in the photos of their association, but I myself do not have their good qualities. I feel myself to be rascal number one, not worthy of their blessings. So I want to ask, why are my good qualities gone? What happened? How to get them back?
Answer: Your Good Qualities Have Increased
In the beginning you could not see your faults because you no had idea of what is false pride and how to conquer it. But now, because you have seriously taken up the pathway of Krishna bhakti under the guidance of the bona fide spiritual master, you are experiencing a powerful awakening of natural humility and saintly qualities within your heart. This is truly wonderful. I am very happy to see how genuine bhakti is dawning within your heart.
To make steady progress on the path of bhakti it is necessary to become more and more aware of our faults. This is why it is the duty of the spiritual master to chastise his disciples. This is his mercy upon his disciples to help them become free from the six finds of faults: lust, anger, greed, madness, illusion, and envy. That you are realizing your faults even without being so much corrected is your great credit. I am very proud to have a sincere student as you. Kindly continue as you are doing: chanting and following the bhakti principles. Your rewards will be unlimited. You will see Krishna face to face and become His personal associate.